What luck, America! Kash Patel’s girlfriend joins Trump’s talent-fleeing Freedom 250 event
America’s 250th birthday celebration has reached the “FBI director’s girlfriend is available” stage of event planning, which is the sort of sentence that makes the Founders look smart for dying early.
To be fair, America has always relied on volunteers in moments of crisis. Some people storm beaches. Some people build hospitals. Some people, when Vanilla Ice cannot carry the whole fever dream alone, date the FBI director and bring a guitar to the National Mall. History rarely arrives wearing dignity. Sometimes it arrives with a laminate, a backing track, and a boyfriend who can probably get through security.
Other nations celebrate 250 years with monuments. We celebrate by checking who is still willing to perform after Young MC says no.
KRS-ONE should offer to do the show, just to see if they'd even let him.
Then completely rip into Trump from the stage if they agreed to let him perform.
(Or imagine Rage Against The Machine offering to do a one-off reunion show-- the publicity of them getting turned down would be immense by itself.)
AMERICA250 = HOT
FREEDOM250 = NOT
I finally understand Paris Hilton's philosophy.