Tasmania’s favorite suburban elephant seal has returned, bigger, weirder, and apparently still committed to the bit where he turns roads, lawns, and traffic cones into supporting characters in the Neil Cinematic Universe.
Neil is funny because he looks like a sofa that learned to breathe, but the fandom gets dangerous when people forget the sofa weighs a ton, has opinions, and teeth. He is not a mascot, influencer, or local government installation. He is a wild southern elephant seal taking his land vacations while his body does disgusting annual maintenance. The safest way to love Neil is from far away, preferably without turning his location into a crowdsourced pilgrimage for people who think “viral animal” means “petting zoo with consequences.”
You can contribute to the care of marine mammals in need by giving to, or volunteering at, Los Angeles’ Marine Mammal Care Center, or Sausalito’s The Marine Mammal Center. Both are stellar care facilities that help nurse sick ellies year-round.
Neil does not block roads. Roads rudely appear under Neil.
Having Neil in your yard is a valid excuse for missing work.