Grandpa Pudding Brains gleefully describes his experiments in necromancy

If it aint dead, he will kill it.

Convicted felon, real estate fraud and pedophile protector Donald Trump has never met a boast too weird, but his latest anecdote wanders straight out of medieval plague folklore. The US President cheerfully describes what sounds less like medicine and more like amateur necromancy.

If the Trump administration keeps going at this pace, FDA approval may soon be replaced by a séance and a guy in a velvet cape with a tin foil skullcap saying, “Stand back, I’ve got this.”