Grandpa Pudding Brains cites pageant experience as Venezuela expertise

America’s most stable genius assessed Venezuela’s readiness for elections using the diplomatic framework he knows best: pageant results.

Asked when Venezuela would hold elections, The Orange Menace said the country was “not really ready,” praised acting president Delcy Rodríguez, and said the United States would be “standing right on top of it” when voting eventually happens. U.S. forces seized Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro in January, but Washington has left the existing government in place without announcing plans for free elections.

The Monroe Doctrine now comes with a sash.