Thieves hit a Los Angeles Pokémon shop again, smashing their way in and stealing another pile of valuable cardboard with monsters on it, because capitalism eventually turns childhood into a smash-and-grab category.
The funny-sad thing here is that Pokémon cards have completed the full American lifecycle: children’s obsession, collector bubble, investment vehicle, insured retail asset, smash-and-grab loot. The burglars apparently knew what to hit and where to hit it, because the modern trading-card shop is less “kids trading Squirtles” and more “tiny casino where Charizard lives behind glass.” Getting robbed once is bad luck. Getting robbed twice in a month means Team Rocket has discovered your address.
The shop sells Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Magic, but apparently the rarest card is “one quiet month.”


This is what happens when you hire a Snorlax for security.