Giant participation trophy appears on the National Mall for Trump’s Iran War “effort”
The National Mall has monuments to sacrifice, courage, justice, and now whatever this is.
Guerrilla artists Secret Handshake have installed a giant gold participation trophy for Trump on the National Mall, hoping that if the president receives enough shiny objects, he may stop trying to collect wars.
The installation also doubles as a trophy donation center, inviting the public to drop off personal trophies, medals, and ribbons for Trump to claim as his own. The theory is simple: if the president can be made to feel enough like a winner, maybe fewer countries will need to be bombed for emotional regulation.
A plaque on the trophy reads:
“We hereby award President Donald J. Trump this participation trophy for his enthusiastic involvement in the Iran War. While some concern themselves with military strategy, diplomacy, or measurable outcomes, President Trump demonstrated the courage to participate regardless of the final score.
As recipient of this prestigious award, President Trump joins the ranks of children everywhere who receive recognition for simply showing up. We join you in celebrating this remarkable achievement.“
The installation will also serve as the nation’s first official Donald Trump Trophy Donation Center, encouraging the public to drop off their own personal trophies, medals, and ribbons at the base of the monument for The President to claim as his own. Together, we hope that if enough trophies are donated he will be perceived as a winner and not feel the need to bomb other countries. Donations will be accepted throughout the week and can be chronicled through #trophiesfortrump.
The Trophy is located on The National Mall at the corner of Independence Ave SW and West Basin Ave SW, just south of the MLK Jr. Memorial Bookstore structure. It will be available to view and donate to for the next several days.
Secret Handshake
The joke works because it’s barely a joke. Trump views politics like a prize table at a bankrupt golf banquet: biggest trophy wins, no one checks the scorecard, and if the award does not exist, someone should make one with his name on it. The terrifying part is that the prize table now includes wars.
The trophy is satire. The neediness is policy.
Much more prestigious than the FIFA Peace Award.
The best achievement The Criminal can make right now is room temperature.