Creepy JD Vance blames card game for teen dating woes

Ellsworth Toohey

JD Vance struggles to understand why women find him creepy even though he has thick eyelashes. (lev radin/Shutterstock.com)

"The big problem with transitioning from being a 13-year-old who likes Magic: The Gathering to being a 15-year-old who likes Magic: The Gathering is that 15-year-old girls do not like Magic: The Gathering," JD Vance told Semafor. "So I dropped it like a bad habit."

A lot of girls play Magic, JD. I hate it break it you, but it wasn't your fondness of the card game that caused 15-year-old girls to find you icky. It's the very core of your being that repulsed them.

Creepy teens become creepy politicians.