Boing Boing, Tuesday, January 28, 2026

Noem and Miller point fingers, and a five-year-old American is deported to a country she’s never seen

Today’s newsletter is dominated by the fallout from federal violence in Minneapolis, where two U.S. citizens have been killed by immigration agents this month. The administration’s story keeps changing — Stephen Miller now admits agents “may not have been following” protocol, Kristi Noem is blaming Miller, and Trump himself declared “you can’t have guns” at protests, infuriating his own base. Meanwhile, a leaked memo reveals DHS is building databases of protesters, and a five-year-old American citizen was quietly deported to Honduras. Beyond the chaos: Neanderthals packed travel toolkits, mathematicians solved a 150-year puzzle with twisty doughnuts, and you can now play Zork with an AI companion. Also, elephant shrews have amazing snouts.

430,000-year-old tool found in Greece

By Rob Beschizza

Tools. Katerina Harvati with the University of Tübingen (handout)

Archeologists found a 430,000-year-old tool, and it isn’t Rupert Murdoch. The artifact, one of two found at a lake shore in Greece, are the oldest wooden implements ever identified. Described as a “spindly stick” about 2 and half feet long, it could have been used to dig. The other is “more mysterious” but may have been used to shape stone tools.

The newest tools, found in Greece’s Megalopolis basin, were possibly buried quickly by sediment and preserved by a wet environment over time. For years, researchers have found other remnants at the site, including stone tools and elephant bones with cuts on them. While scientists didn’t directly date the wooden tools, the site is about 430,000 years old, which provides insight into the objects’ age.

No human remains have been found at the site, reports the Associated Press, but archaologists expect to find more evidence of human activity. Previously, the oldest wooden tools were thought to be a set of spears found in Germany and 300,000-year-old sticks found in China, thought to be used to harvest plants.

The study was led by Katerina Harvati from the University of Tübingen. (Wiley)

His ‘n’ hers coup ‘n’ corruption jail terms for South Korean ex-pres and wife

By Rob Beschizza

Kim Keon Hee, and Yoon Suk Yeol at the White House. Photo: Paul Froggatt / Shutterstock

Yoon Suk Yeol, the former South Korean president impeached and jailed after trying to impose martial law on the country, was jailed for 5 years earlier this month for abusing his power, and could face a more severe sentence on other charges. And now his wife, Kim Keon Hee, is off to jail for 20 months after a corruption conviction. She accepted expensive gifts from the Moonies in return for political favors, the court found.

The Seoul Central District Court ruled Kim had accepted luxury gifts from the Unification Church, a controversial religious movement derived from Christian teachings.

She accepted lavish bribes, including a designer handbag and necklace, in return for political favours, the court found.

“The defendant misused her position as a means to seek profit,” the court said, as quoted by the Korean news agency Yonhap.

She was cleared on charges of insider trading and violating political finance laws; she denied all the charges and, like her husband, plans to appeal.

Yoon was removed from office in April last year after his decree was overturned by parliament, which later impeached him. The peculiar bribery case has now intensified political efforts to disband the Unification Church, but a similar scandal had already disgraced the recipient.

In other “liberal democracy actually functioning” news, see Brazil’s incarceration of former president Jair Bolsonaro following his defeat in 2023’s election and attempted coup.

Night owls have poorer cardiovascular health

By Rob Beschizza

MSPhotographic / Shutterstock

Lives spent up late led to poorer health in late life, according to research published in the Journal of the American Heart Association. Tracking the chronotypes of 300,000 mostly white adults in the U.K., with an average age of 57 years, found that 8% had late-night bedtimes with peak activity during the evening, and 24% were “definitely morning people.” The morning people were in better shape, as measured with the American Heart Association’s Life’s Essential 8 metrics. MedicalXPress summarizes the findings.

Compared to intermediate chronotypes, “evening people” or night owls had a 79% higher prevalence of having an overall poor cardiovascular health score. Night owls had a 16% higher risk of having a heart attack or stroke over a median of about 14 years follow-up, compared to people within the intermediate category. Evening chronotype was more strongly related to low cardiovascular health scores in women than in men. Much of the increased risk of heart disease among evening people was due to poor heart health habits and factors, especially nicotine use and inadequate sleep.

It’s not just the sleep habits, though, that appear to be the problem. It’s the awake habits associated with being up late: smoking, drinking, and eating shit. Here’s Kristen Knutson, Ph.D., FAHA, volunteer chair of the 2025 American Heart Association:

“These findings show that the higher heart disease risks among evening types are partly due to modifiable behaviors such as smoking and sleep. Therefore, evening types have options to improve their cardiovascular health,” she said. “Evening types aren’t inherently less healthy, but they face challenges that make it particularly important for them to maintain a healthy lifestyle.”

Conversely, if you’re an early bird and want to avail yourself of the health outcomes of your night owl friends, a breakfast of whiskey, cigarettes and mystery meat kebab makes for an excellent start to the day.

Prices for older PC hardware soar

By Rob Beschizza

The only ram you’ll be getting for Christmas. Photo: Shutterstock

AI datacenters’ demand for processing power, memory and storage has seen prices for GPUs and RAM soar, and now last year’s technology is following suit. DDR4 and older cards are joining the latest models on the top shelf. People building systems are finding that the savings “aren’t as significant as expected,” writes Adam Corsetti.

Spotted by Wccftech, the Taiwanese site cites recent Goldman Sachs data on the DRAM market. The article notes that the gap between spot prices, which reflect current market value, and contract prices is widening. DDR4 spot prices are 172% higher than the agreements made between companies and memory manufacturers like Samsung or SK Hynix.

The older gear isn’t being produced in volume, further helping the pricing snap upward. So demand is at the point of turning over crates and drawers in the inventory warehouses. Next: Sam Altman personally scouring eBay for parts?

Kash Patel finds free speech inconvenient, opens investigation into chat groups warning about ICE

By Ellsworth Toohey

Kash Patel. Photo: Ron Sachs - CNP / Shutterstock

FBI Director Kash Patel announced an investigation into encrypted Signal group chats used by Minnesota residents to share information about federal immigration enforcement — agent locations, vehicle license plates, activity near schools. Patel expressed concern that such activities could “put law enforcement in harm’s way,” and said investigators would determine if residents violated federal statutes, reports NBC News.

The investigation was prompted by conservative journalist Cam Higby, whose social media thread claiming he “infiltrated” the Minneapolis-area groups garnered 20 million views. The Signal chats function alongside walkie-talkies and whistles in volunteer networks, warning families about immigration enforcement, particularly near schools in a city with over 3,000 federal immigration agents operating.

Civil liberties advocates pushed back hard. The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression said groups have “legitimate reasons” to share lawfully obtained information, including enabling public accountability of law enforcement. The Knight First Amendment Institute pointed out that citizens have constitutional protections to record and document official activities. Critics argued Patel’s framing of “balancing” First Amendment rights against federal law fundamentally misunderstands the Constitution — it takes precedence over government interests in suppressing disfavored speech.

Neanderthals carried travel toolkits when they went bear hunting

By Ellsworth Toohey

frantic00/shutterstock.com

New analysis of tools found in an Alpine cave suggests Neanderthals weren’t just making tools wherever they happened to be — they were packing for trips. Researchers at the University of Ferrara examined 16 flint and radiolarite artifacts discovered among bear remains at Caverna Generosa in the Alps, and found something curious: plenty of resharpening marks, but no chips or flakes, reports PhysOrg.

If Neanderthals made these tools on site, they would have left debris behind. Instead, the evidence points to tools being sharpened repeatedly over time, then hauled up the mountain when needed. Chemical analysis confirmed the stone came from miles away, much lower on the mountain.

The research team, led by Davide Delpiano, believes Neanderthals traveled to the cave during summer to hunt bears or scavenge hibernation deaths. They came prepared with a portable toolkit, processed the carcasses, and then moved on. It’s more evidence that our closest extinct relatives weren’t the dim-witted brutes of old stereotypes. They planned ahead, maintained their equipment, and adapted their tools for the job at hand — behaviors we tend to think of as uniquely human.

Kristi Noem blames Stephen Miller for the Minneapolis killings

By Ellsworth Toohey

Stephen Miller (Phil Mistry/shutterstock.com)

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem is attempting to deflect responsibility for two U.S .citizen deaths in Minneapolis by claiming she acted under orders from President Trump and Stephen Miller, reports The Daily Beast.

Two American citizens were killed by federal agents in Minnesota this month: Renee Nicole Good, 37, fatally shot by an ICE agent on January 7 (Noem called her a “domestic terrorist”), and Alex Pretti, 37, a VA nurse shot by Border Patrol agents on January 24. Video evidence shows Pretti never brandished his legally carried handgun before being tackled and shot roughly ten times.

Noem told sources: “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done at the direction of the president and Stephen.” She shifted responsibility for inflammatory claims about Pretti wanting to “massacre law enforcement” — made by Border Patrol official Greg Bovino — to Miller’s direction.

Miller countered that the information came from Customs and Border Protection, which falls under Noem’s DHS authority. Trump’s chief of staff, Susie Wiles, and Miller have reportedly turned against Noem and her ally Corey Lewandowski, viewing them as a “liability” following the political disaster.

Miller was excluded from a critical White House meeting about the situation — a notable sign of diminished influence for the architect of Trump’s aggressive immigration policies.

The circular firing squad has begun, with MAGA stooges pointing fingers while the bodies of US citizens grow cold.

Two twisty doughnut shapes solve a 150-year-old geometry puzzle

By Ellsworth Toohey

Compact Bonnet pairs: isometric tori with the same curvatures (Bobenko, A.I., Hoffmann, T. & Sageman-Furnas, A.O.)

In 1867, French mathematician Pierre Ossian Bonnet proved something that seemed like common sense: if you know how far apart any two points on a surface are, and how the surface curves at every point, you can identify exactly what surface you’re dealing with. Measure both properties, and there’s only one answer. Except Bonnet wondered: are there exceptions? Could two different surfaces share identical local measurements? Mathematicians spent 150 years looking for a compact counterexample and coming up empty, reports Quanta Magazine.

Now three mathematicians — Alexander Bobenko, Tim Hoffmann, and Andrew Sageman-Furnas — have found one. They’ve constructed a pair of doughnut-shaped surfaces that pass through themselves like figure eights, looking completely different from each other but sharing the exact same metric and mean curvature at every point. These “Bonnet pairs” prove that local measurements don’t always determine global shape.

The discovery required thinking about smooth surfaces using discrete geometry — the mathematics of flat-sided polygons rather than curves. It’s a reversal of the usual direction: smooth math typically leads discrete theory, not the other way around. As one mathematician said, “our intuition wasn’t good enough.”

Play classic Infocom text adventures with an AI companion

By Ellsworth Toohey

Infocom Chat brings together classic text adventures and large language models. The site lets you play Infocom’s legendary Zork trilogy with an AI assistant that understands the games and so you can enter natural language commands without having to worry about the finicky syntax requirements that were often frustrating in the original versions.

Instead of replacing the player, it keeps you in control.

Text adventures and AI chat interfaces share the same DNA. Both are back-and-forth text exchanges where you type a command and the system responds. Infocom games were pioneering works of interactive fiction in the 1980s, with parsers sophisticated enough to understand complex sentences like “put the brass lantern in the brown sack then go north.” Modern LLMs are essentially very good at exactly this kind of natural language processing, which makes them ideal companions for games that were always about language.

Man sprays Rep. Ilhan Omar with unknown substance

By Ellsworth Toohey

U.S. Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) Philip Yabut/shutterstock.com

A man rushed the stage at a Minneapolis town hall on Tuesday and sprayed Rep. Ilhan Omar with an unknown foul-smelling liquid before being tackled by security. The suspect, identified as Anthony James Kazmierczak, 55, used a syringe to spray the substance while shouting, “You must resign!” He was arrested on third-degree assault charges, reports Politico.

Omar was calling for the abolition of ICE when the attack occurred. She was not injured and resumed the event after a brief interruption, defying a security officer’s recommendation to stop. In a statement posted to social media, Omar wrote: “I’m ok. I’m a survivor, so this small agitator isn’t going to intimidate me from doing my work. I don’t let bullies win.”

Security detained the attacker immediately, and Omar’s office confirmed she was unharmed.

Leaked memo reveals DHS is building a database of anti-ICE protesters

By Ellsworth Toohey

Kristi Noem (mark reinstein/shutterstock.com)

Federal agents in Minneapolis were ordered to compile identifying information on anti-ICE activists, according to communications obtained by CNN and reported by The New Republic. Agents were asked to complete forms titled “intel collection non-arrests” and to “capture all images, license plates, identifications, and general information on hotels, agitators, protestors, etc., so we can capture it all in one consolidated form.”

A CNN source indicated that federal agents knew the identity of Alex Pretti, the 37-year-old VA nurse killed by Border Patrol agents, though it remains unclear whether he was included in the database before his death. This disclosure follows an incident where an ICE agent warned a woman filming federal operations that her information would enter a “database” marking her as a domestic terrorist.

DHS spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin denied the agency was compiling a database of “domestic terrorists,” characterizing the information collection as “standard protocol” to pursue cases involving “violent agitators” and to “advance prosecution.”

Volunteer ICE monitors across multiple states have reported intimidating home visits from federal agents — suggesting the database is already being used to target people exercising their First Amendment rights.

Five-year-old US citizen deported to Honduras

By Mark Frauenfelder

DHS ad with Kristi Noem

Génesis Ester Gutiérrez Castellanos, a five-year-old American citizen, was deported to Honduras on January 11 alongside her mother — a country Génesis had never known. The child now misses her cousins, classmates, and kindergarten teachers in Austin, Texas, reports The Guardian.

On January 5, Austin police responded to a 4:35 a.m. disturbance call. They found no ongoing disturbance but identified Génesis’s mother, Karen Guadalupe Gutiérrez Castellanos, as having an ICE administrative warrant — issued in 2019, before Génesis was born. ICE arrested both mother and daughter. Within days, both were deported without an opportunity to speak with an attorney, appear before a judge, or make arrangements for the US citizen child to remain in her country.

Advocacy group Grassroots Leadership says the pair was held incommunicado at a San Antonio hotel and pressured not to disclose their location, preventing attorneys from intervening. The mother briefly reached her brother by phone on January 7, saying officials were preparing to deport them both. On January 11, she called from Honduras to confirm they had been removed.

U.S. citizenship is supposed to provide absolute protection against deportation. This case joins a pattern: on January 16, ICE issued a rare apology for mistakenly deporting 19-year-old Austin college student Any López Belloza in violation of a court order.

Miller backtracks on “assassin” claim after internal review of shooting

By Mark Frauenfelder

Presidential advisor Steven Miller (Phil Pasquini/shutterstock.com)

Stephen Miller finally acknowledged that Customs and Border Protection agents in Minneapolis “may not have been following” proper protocol by shooting Alex Pretti to death — a shift from his baseless characterization of Pretti as a “would-be assassin,” according to CNN.

Pretti, a 37-year-old ICU nurse, was filming federal agents and civilians on his iPhone Saturday when he approached a pepper-sprayed protester. Agents tackled him, discovered he was legally carrying a firearm, took his gun, and two agents shot him roughly ten times while he was pinned to the ground. An internal assessment makes no mention of Pretti attacking officers or threatening them with a weapon — contradicting the administration’s initial claims.

President Trump directly contradicted Miller’s earlier characterization and said he hadn’t heard the “domestic terrorist” rhetoric his administration pushed in the hours after the shooting. Press secretary Karoline Leavitt was asked Monday about Miller’s post on X, calling Pretti a would-be assassin and claiming “the official Democrat account sides with the terrorists.”

Pretti was the second U.S. citizen killed by immigration officers in Minneapolis this month, following Renee Nicole Good on January 7. Video evidence in both cases has contradicted official narratives.

Slovak Prime Minister allegedly told EU leaders Trump is “dangerous”

By Ellsworth Toohey

Donald Trump at the 2024 Republican National Convention. (Maxim Elramsisy / Shutterstock.com)

Slovak Prime Minister Robert Fico met with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago on January 17. According to two European diplomats who spoke to Politico Europe, Fico later told EU leaders at an informal Brussels summit that Trump’s behavior was “dangerous” and expressing serious concerns about how the American president appeared to him.

Fico has strongly denied the reports, calling Politico a “hateful, pro-Brussels liberal portal” and the article a lie. He claims he didn’t speak at the summit and never discussed his US visit with any premier or president, formally or informally.

The alleged remarks came as EU leaders gathered for an emergency summit on the transatlantic crisis sparked by Trump’s push to acquire Greenland. Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen has called Trump’s threats to take control of the territory “the end of NATO.”

Meanwhile, NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte tried to calm tensions by insisting Trump is “very important” and “very committed” to the alliance — while also delivering a warning to European lawmakers. “If anyone thinks here that the European Union or Europe as a whole can defend itself without the U.S., keep on dreaming,” Rutte said. “You can’t.”

Take a closer look at that Sengi snout! And listen to its relaxing Sengi ASMR!

By Jennifer Sandlin

A sengi, or elephant shrew. Rhynchocyon petersi by Joey Makalintal (CC BY 2.0)

A few months ago, a young pair of six-month-old Black and Rufous Sengi — also known as elephant shrews — arrived at the Hertfordshire Zoo and they’re already delighting in-person visitors and bringing joy to those of us who are lucky enough to see them online. Case in point: this Sengi ASMR video featuring one of them blissfully enjoying some kind of winged insect as a snack. Just look at its gorgeous giant eyes and cute little ears! And, of course, its truly amazing snout.

There are only two pairs of elephant shrews in the UK, one at the Hertfordshire Zoo and the other at ZSL London Zoo, having arrived last fall from Leipzig Zoo in Germany and Prague Zoo in the Czech Republic, before settling into their new homes. In a press release from October 2025, Hertfordshire Zoo describes the sweetly snouted creatures:

Each adult Sengi weighs about the same as a small loaf of bread, making them one of the most endearing, pint-sized residents at Hertfordshire Zoo . . . Native to the forests and shrublands of southeastern Kenya, these small insect-eating mammals are known for their extraordinary agility and long, flexible noses which resemble a miniature elephant’s trunk and helps them sniff out insects among the leaf litter.

And oh what a snout these Sengi have! I’ve previously praised the proboscis of the elephant shrew and shared this captivating video of a Sengi at the Houston Zoo making the cutest little sniffy and smacky noises as it roots around in the rocks with its glorious snout to find some ants.

Signs of Terry Pratchett’s dementia appear in his books a decade before diagnosis

By Gail Sherman

Image: Billion Photos / shutterstock.com

A new analysis of the work of Sir Terry Pratchett found his use of language was gradually deteriorating long before he was diagnosed with dementia. Writing in The Conversation, the authors of the study published in Brain Sciences point out that memory loss is but one symptom of dementia, with other cognitive issues often occurring earlier in the progression of the disease.

Language … offers a unique window into cognitive change. The words we choose, the variety of our vocabulary and the way we structure description are tightly linked to brain function. Even small shifts in language use may reflect underlying neurological change.

The study examined the “lexical diversity” of 33 books from Pratchett’s Discworld series, focusing specifically on his use of adjectives. Pratchett’s language in “The Lost Continent,” written almost 10 years before his diagnosis with posterior cortical atrophy, a rare form of Alzheimer’s, showed a significant drop in complexity. This trend continued in subsequent novels.

The authors hope that what they learned from this study will aid in the early detection of dementia symptoms. Although there is currently no cure, treatments can slow the progression of the disease, and earlier treatment tends to be more successful.

Sir Terry donated $1,000,000 to Alzheimer’s research before his death, and spoke openly about his diagnosis, helping to spread awareness. I think he would be gratified to know that, even after his death, his contributions to the cause that meant so much to him continue.

“Cookin’ with Congress” reveals the favorite meals of politicians from all eras (prune souffle, anyone?)

By Jennifer Sandlin

This traditional Thanksgiving dinner is surely more delicious than what President John Adams ate in a typical day. Photo: Jennifer Sandlin.

If you like politics, and history, and food, you’re gonna love “Cookin’ with Congress,” a show that sits at the intersection of all three and whose description cleverly declares: “Politics is COOKED.” Los Angeles-based host and creator Bennett Rea, who has a bachelor’s degree in politics, explains on the show’s webpage that the idea started when he came across a 1989 South Dakota Centennial Cookbook and became fascinated by the “real recipes submitted by real senators, congresspeople, mayors, governors and even the President of the United States.” He adds that “they were all horrible,” and that he became “inspired by that initial disgust” to recreate the recipes and try them out for himself.

Along the way, I learned a ton about midcentury Jello salads, psychotic presidential eating habits and the critical need for congressional term limits. I even became a pretty damn good home chef.

He now entertains the world with videos where he shows us the recipes he’s cooked and gives us quick history lessons about the politicians who loved them. He even has a fun series where he spends one full day eating only what a specific President would eat — he’s spent all day eating like Andrew Jackson, James Garfield, and many more.

Irish elk: the giant deer that towered over humans and went extinct 8,000 years ago

By Popkin

The male and female Irish elk (Cervus megaceros), now extinct. Reproduction of a painting by J Smith.

This photo shows how gigantic an Irish Elk looks compared to two humans. Megaloceros giganteus — literally “giant horn” — is the scientific name for this animal. If you’re packing your bag to go find one to befriend on a hike, I have some sad news: the Irish Elk has been extinct for 8,000 years.

Despite its dramatic scale, the Irish Elk wasn’t some giant monster. It was a grazing deer that thrived in open grasslands and lightly wooded areas. Its enormous antlers were likely used to impress mates and compete with rivals, much as modern deer do. Fossils show these animals were well adapted to their environment, and they coexisted with early humans for thousands of years before eventually disappearing as landscapes and climates shifted.

From Instagram: “The Irish elk stood about seven feet tall and weighed up to 1,500 pounds. Its most famous feature was its massive antlers, which could spread 12 feet wide and weigh nearly 90 pounds. Although named ‘Irish,’ these deer lived across Europe and Asia for thousands of years. They went extinct about 8,000 years ago as the climate changed, and the thick forests made it difficult for them to move with such large antlers.”

Frozen methane bubbles make this lake look like a portal to another world

By Popkin

Ice cube (Stone36/shutterstock.com)

At first glance, this frozen lake looks like it’s full of neatly stacked UFOs hovering beneath the ice. What you’re actually seeing is methane gas released by bacteria as they decompose organic matter in the mud at the bottom. When winter ice forms quickly, the gas bubbles rise and get trapped. They freeze in place before they can escape, creating those surreal, layered columns.

This happens most often in cold northern climates where lakes freeze solid and early. The effect is visually striking and scientifically informative: it reveals how much biological activity is still occurring below the surface, even in the dead of winter. It’s a reminder that landscapes we think of as dormant are often busy in ways we don’t notice — unless nature creates stunning visual effects like these.

My favorite thing about the first image is how the circles under the ice seem to extend down infinitely, making the lake look like a portal to another world.

Tom the Dancing Bug: It’s the Magas!

By Ruben Bolling

Please join the team that makes it possible for your friendly neighborhood comic strip Tom the Dancing Bug to exist in this world! JOIN US FOR 2026 IN THE INNER HIVE, and be the first kid on your block to get each week’s Tom the Dancing Bug comic – before it’s published anywhere.

Sign up for the free weekly Tom the Dancing Bug Review! Not nearly as good as joining the Inner Hive, but it’s free!

Replacement airbags are killing people with shrapnel

By Gail Sherman

Image: Eduard Goricev/Shutterstock

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has issued a stark warning after numerous deaths and serious injuries caused by airbags in used cars. Eight people were killed, and there were two serious injuries when airbag inflators ruptured when deploying in a crash, “sending large metal fragments into drivers’ chests, necks, eyes and faces.”

All of these incidents involved used cars that had replacement driver’s-side airbags. The airbag inflators were manufactured by the Chinese company Jilin Province Detiannuo Automobile Safety System Co., Ltd., also known as DTN. DTN does not do business in the United States, so the DTN inflators would have had to be imported illegally.

Unlike previous incidents, like the massive Takata airbag recall, there is no database of affected vehicles. So far, the DTN inflators have only been found in Chevy Malibus and Hyundai Sonatas, but the NHTSA does not believe they are limited to these specific makes and models. Because the aftermarket parts were likely imported and installed illegally, the exact number of dangerous inflators is unknown, but estimates are as high as 10,000.

Owners of cars with salvage or rebuilt titles are urged to have their airbags inspected and replaced if DTN inflators are installed. The NHTSA investigation is continuing.

A tactical backpack that won’t make you look like a TactiFool

By Séamus Bellamy

Image via Seamus Bellamy

Tactical backpacks are rugged, travel well, and haul anything. MOLLE webbing allows for insane customization, and a good rucksack has straps designed to carry heavy loads for hours. But unless you’re a first responder or in the military, wearing one around town makes you look like a TactiFool or, for a chubby fella like me, a GravySEAL. You can’t bring one into a boardroom and look professional. And because they’re built to be ridden hard and put away wet, they’re heavy — some weigh three to five pounds empty.

Companies like Mystery Ranch and 5.11 have found middle ground: tactical perks with an urbane look. After a month with the 21-liter Heritage Waxed Canvas GR1, I can say GORUCK has cracked the code. It keeps the tough-as-nails features the company is known for, but with a streamlined look and waxed canvas instead of heavy ballistic nylon. Great for commuting, or as a grey man get-home bag.

The GR1 comes in several colors and two sizes: 21 and 26 liters. At 5’7”, the smaller pack (11.5”W x 18”H x 5.5”D) is my Goldilocks. The exterior is finished with Martexin Wax, used to add water resistance for over 150 years. It’s weather-resistant, not weatherproof — fabric ridges protect the zippers and should keep your stuff dry in heavy rain, but don’t get cocky. Moisture-sensitive items belong in a dry bag.

South Carolina beats Texas’s measles high score

By Rob Beschizza

Close-up of measles rash (DRMEK/shutterstock.com)

South Carolina has 789 cases of measles on the go, taking the lead from Texas in the antivaxxer disease olympics. The Lone Star state’s 2025 tally of 762 people sickened has been surpassed thanks to 89 new cases confirmed since Friday, mostly in Spartanburg County. People who are unvaccinated or “didn’t know their status” account for most of those implicated in the outbreak.

Health officials said that 557 people are in quarantine for 21 days. The South Carolina outbreak began this past fall. By January, cases directly linked to the state had been documented in California, North Carolina and Washington.

North Carolina is seeing a sharp rise in cases, too, with more than 170 people under quarantine connected to “a private Christian school that has children as young as 6 weeks old,” reports NBC News.

93% of patients are unvaccinated. Dr. Ralph Abraham, principal deputy director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, doesn’t give a shit.

“It’s just the cost of doing business, with our borders being somewhat porous,” Abraham said. “We have these communities that choose to be unvaccinated. That’s their personal freedom.”

The U.K., home of “antivaxxer zero” Andrew Wakefield, this week lost its measles elimination status.

Trump: “You can’t have guns. You can’t walk in with guns.”

By Rob Beschizza

Image by Joey Sussman / Shutterstock.com

After federal goons executed Alex Pretti on the street in Minneapolis, the Trump administration pounced upon what it thought was its best bet to justify it: Pretti had a gun. Homeland security secretary Kristi Noem insinuated he was brandishing it while attacking officers. White House deputy gollum Steven Miller called him an “assassin” and “domestic terrorist.” But video soon made liars of them, showing Pretti never touched his holstered handgun and that it was taken from him before they shot him. Border Patrol commander Gregory Bovino said he planned a “massacre.” FBI director Kash Patel then said it was illegal to take guns to protests—incorrect, to say the least. And now President Trump himself blurted out a similar sentiment: “You can’t have guns. You can’t walk in with guns.”

“You can’t have guns. You can’t walk in with guns,” the president said in response to a question from PBS News’ Liz Landers, reiterating a talking point from the administration that Pretti should not have brought a legally carried handgun to the scene — a position that has infuriated gun rights advocates.

So much for the Second Amendment, MAGA!

Erich Pratt, vice president of Gun Owners of America, was incredulous.

“I have attended protest rallies while armed, and no one got injured,” he said on CNN.

Conservative officials around the country made the same connection between the First and Second amendments.

“Showing up at a protest is very American. Showing up with a weapon is very American,” state Rep. Jeremy Faison, who leads the GOP caucus in Tennessee, said on X.

The NRA began directly criticizing the administration’s lurch into anti-gun rhetoric, making an example of federal prosecutor Bill Essayli.

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