America’s least-streamed country singer now has a federal security detail

Kash Patel

Bug-eyed FBI Director Kash “K$H” Patel has turned the federal agency into a personal concierge service, dispatching SWAT teams to shadow his country singer girlfriend Alexis Wilkins and flying cross-country on a government jet for what appears to be a taxpayer-funded tour of conservative fan fests and date nights.

And sure, you’re paying for him to fly all across the country to see sporting events and to see Wilkins twangbellow at rubes who paid to attend a fifth-tier pro wrestling event. But what if you had the opportunity to just make sure your taxpayer dollars go directly to Wilkins as well?

Yes, Wilkins and her pretend country singing career apparently require a full FBI SWAT team now—yes, a SWAT team. As in the people who have actual jobs keeping people in Nashville safe during the most critical emergencies. Sure, they wouldn’t be able to respond to a crisis in the Nashville area because of this, but what’s a little terror and trepidation and harm for the citizens of Nashville in the face of Alexis Wilkins needing a babysitter?

The justification is that Wilkins has received death threats because of her relationship with Patel. It comes in handy that since Patel heads the FBI, he gets to decide if his girlfriend needs a little extra protection and assign personnel accordingly.

DailyKos

While Patel lavishes security on Wilkins, who hasn’t charted a song since 2023, Democratic lawmakers like Rep. Eric Swalwell say the DOJ refuses to act on death threats against them and their families. The contrast has triggered outrage, raising questions about Patel’s priorities, ethical fitness, and whether the FBI’s top job now comes with a plus-one grift package.