Architect of our demise, Senator Mitch McConnell's office released another photograph to prove that he remains alive and recovering. The doubting public responded by identifying his wife's $12 Chico's shirt and opening a textile-forensics lab.
A family friend of billionaire Elaine Chao reportedly considers it implausible that she would willingly wear a $12 Chico's shirt. While not proof that the McConnell photo was backdated, it may be the funniest expert testimony yet entered into the record.
The Daily Beast also compared Chao's appearance to photos of her taken around the same time and noticed differences. In a July 29 photo taken of Chao at the Aero Club of D.C., Chao "appeared with fuller-looking hair" that "was noticeably lighter and had a more reddish tint," The Beast reported.
The Daily Beast also shared a post from Jeff Yang, a family friend of Chao. Yang wrote that he found it "implausible" that Chao would be wearing the white button-up seen in the July 26 photo because it was a $12 shirt made by Chico's. "SHE WOULD RATHER DIE."
The shirt proves nothing except that the photograph settled nothing.
Please let us know when he’s no longer breathing. Otherwise I don’t need anymore status updates.